Eclipse Edward or Jake Talk
by vampiresaremylife
Summary: I wil try to make this as funny as I can, bare with me here.Please Review!Critisim  i didnt spell that right.. is welcome
1. Twilightners

_**--------- Eclipse; Edward or Jake Talk ---------------**_

_**"Ok, for starters**_

_**Is there anyone who loves only Jake?"**_

_**(No Hands go up)**_

_**"Ok...Not all hands go up at once." I say.**_

_**Clearly there is some 'Team Jake' out there.**_

_**"Again are there anyone who likes Jake?!"**_

_**Some hands go up...I'm pleased.**_

_**"Much, Much better...Twilightners...Much." **_

_**"Alright so, who thinks Bella made the right choice?" I ask **_

_** Grasshoppers chirping **_

_**(Clears throat) **_

_**"Who thinks BELLA MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE?!" I ask.**_

_**All hands go up. **_

_**Ok...so then that tells me. There are some backstabbing Jake Fans out there.**_

_**"So you all agree. Bella and Edward?" I ask them.**_

_**They all shake their head's ' yes'.**_

_**(One hand goes up high) **_

_**I roll my eyes, and then I point to the sticky handed kid.**_

_**"Yes?"**_

_**The kid then stood up, shaking a bit.**_

_**"Wouldn't Bella, like get hurt if she made Jake mad. When she was with him. Or something?" The kid asks.**_

_**DUH!! Such an Easy Q!**_

_**"Well IF she did. I would think so, then Edward would have to hunt down Jake." I say.**_

_**The kid huffs, and sits down.**_

_**Another kid stands up.**_

_**"Yes?" I ask once more.**_

_**"What IF Bella chose Jake, not Edward?" She asked.**_

_**I could see that A BUNCH of the fans were going to cry. And I was one of them ( not that I dislike Jake, I don't. And if I did...I wouldn't be doing this)**_

_**"Well, then that would change the whole storyline wouldn't it?" I ask her.**_

_**She shakes her head.**_

_**"But if that were to happen, I would probably scream. And come to rip that **__**DOG**__** apart." I tell her with a grin plastered on my face.**_

_**"Don't get me wrong, I LIKE Jake. No offense to you Jake Lovers'." I say with another smile.**_

_**"What If Bella...like got some really ugly glasses...and then...she had to show them to the Cullen family?" A musical voice echoed off the walls. **_

_**The Twilightners all looked at the girl who had said that.**_

_**Wait.**_

_**No.**_

_**It.**_

_**Couldn't Be.**_

Cliffy!

Who could the girl be?

Take bets if ya want…

Just put them into REVIEWS!

I love reviews!

So tell me some funny ideas. If you got any….

And if you like it or hate it.


	2. GorillaGlue

_**Eclipse; Edward or Jake Talk**_

_**We all gasp at her beauty. Of course we all wanted to know who the woman was, but she had a scarf wrapped around her head and big sunglasses on. She took the sunglasses slowly. The topaz eyes glistened in the light of the auditorium.**_

_**We all gasp (again)**_

_**We stare at the beautiful woman standing in the rows and rows of Twilightners.**_

_**Our mouths were forming an O shape.**_

_**That's when we heard another voice.**_

_**There stood Bella.**_

"_**I did not!" She screamed at Rosalie.**_

"_**You did." She said filing her nails. **_

"_**Not." Bells said.**_

"_**Did" Rosalie tells her, bored out of her mind.**_

"_**Rosalie, why are you out for revenge on me?" Bella asked.**_

"_**Well that dress was Gucci...Oh! And the shoes! The shoes were. Were" Rosalie Struggled trying to find the right word.**_

"_**They were Designer!" She screamed. Throwing her hands, Outraged.**_

"_**I told you I was sorry……many times!" Bella screamed back.**_

"_**I'm going to go get Edward!" She said pointing the filer at Bella.**_

_**Bella crossed her arms. Not Pleased.**_

_**Edward came into the room.**_

_**As did Jacob.**_

_**Oh Uh I thought.**_

_**The Twilightners all screamed and ran OVER! Them. (AN: don't ask HOW they can trample vamps and weres ok?) **_

_**After they got the Twilightners off them, they carried on the situation. I watched as each Twilightners found their seats. **_

_**The Fight continues.**_

"_**Look….Edward….hat dress was priceless. And she. She!" Rosalie accused Bella with a pointing finger. Rosalie busted into dry sobs. Jake went over there to comfort her. **_

_**They had some secret conversation. Rosalie nodded. **_

_**It was like court. Jake Fending for Rosalie, and Edward for Bella.**_

_**I just started laughing. My voice booming in the room.**_

_**They all stared at with me, with suspicious eyes. **_

_**I've gone crazy.**_

"_**You have not, and this isn't court." Edward said.**_

_**Eddie!! Eddie! I thought just to make him angry.**_

"_**Stop!!!" He yelled.**_

"_**I've gone crazy!' I yelled.**_

_**I didn't run, for I was stuck to my seat.**_

_**What?**_

_**I couldn't be stuck.**_

_**Only one Cullen could've done this.**_

_**Cliffy!!! Again!!**_

_**Alright…I would like at least MORE REVIEWS!**_

_**I won't update Friday. But Next Tuesday…**_

_**I might not even review until I get 6 reviews…**_


	3. Aw, Crap

_**Eclipse; Edward or Jake Talk**_

_**Chapter 3**_

"_**EMMETT!!"I scream.**_

_**His head poked out. "Yes?"**_

_**I was furious.**_

_**I tried to roll my seat over to where Emmett was.**_

_**Mission Failed.**_

"_**Aw, crap." I say.**_

_**I just started punching and kicking in mid-air.**_

_**I was sure that my face was an odd shade of purple.**_

_**I did NOT like to be glued to my seat.**_

_**Flashback**_

_**My friend had the camera.**_

_**I sat down at the table.**_

_**Why does he have a camera? I ask myself.**_

"_**So, how does it fell to be stuck to your seat, Victoria?" He asked me.**_

_**What?!**_

"_**Ryan, c'mon you know that I hate stuff like this. Don't lie." I say.**_

"_**I'm not; wait until I tell my buddies.**_

"_**No!" I scream."**_

_**His friend James was Hawt.**_

_**I have fiery red hair, I'm beautiful.**_

_**End of Flashback**_

"_**Is she supposed to turn that shade of purple?" asked, Jasper.**_

_**Oh The on to care. I thought**_

_**Hey that rhymes! I thought again.**_

"_**Get Carlisle!" Edward screams.**_

_**Xx 10 mins. Later. Xx**_

"_**I can't find him or Esme" Edward said.**_

"_**Doesn't surprise me any." Emmett says.**_

"_**Oh shut up!" Rosalie says, hitting him in the back of the head.**_

_**Emmett turns to glare at his wife.**_

_**I started to kick and punch, but to add sound-affects I started to scream.**_

"_**Well then call the Police!" Emmett says.**_

"_**Why the Police?" Bella asks.**_

"_**Ok then call the Fire Department!" Emmett says.**_

"_**Why them?" Jake asks.**_

"_**FINE!! Call the freak'n hospital." Emmett says.**_

_**I stopped.**_

"_**Wait why do we have to go to the hospital?" I ask.**_

_**They all stare at me.**_

"_**Why can't you guys just pry this chair off me?" I ask**_

_**Emmett was the first to speak.**_

"_**She Talks!" He says amazed.**_

"_**We can't compete to Gorilla-Glue." Jasper says.**_

_**Xx 20 mins.Later. Xx**_

_**The ambulance never came.**_

_**Edward rolled me to his Volvo.**_

"_**Alright get in." Emmett says.**_

_**I throw my hands up.**_

_**Emmett got the picture and helped me into Edward's car.**_

_**The drive wasn't that long.**_

_**And I thought that I would never hold on for dear life for anything.**_

_**Ha, was I wrong.**_

_**This time Jasper rolled me into the hospital.**_

_**Everyone stopped and stared.**_

"_**Aw, Crap!" I say**_


	4. SITE

Ok, sorry guys, about that site thing, here is the link: will be putting up thing in Home so that way you can suscribe to my site and become a memeber


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